Monday, October 17, 2011
Disconfirmed and Defensive
There was a time a while back where I had to learn a routine for a dance class and the choreographers were a few of my peers. They hadn’t completely figured out the steps, and were asking us participants for help. However, whenever I gave an idea to one of the choreographers, I always felt disconfirmed and defensive because that person obviously didn’t want my opinion. Other participants also felt the same way as I did with that one choreographer, and we all were upset together about it. The other choreographers who were nicer, however, didn’t notice our problem, and just kept going on with teaching. That one choreographer was using three of Gibb’s defensiveness-producing communication behaviors. They were evaluating, or judging, us whenever we did a run of the routine. While the other choreographers were constructively criticizing or focusing on what we did well and using description, that one choreographer would judge every little thing we did wrong. They were also controlling the communication. Rather than trying to finish the routine as a group and problem solving, that one choreographer consistently tried to push her own opinion and moves and ideas. Lastly, that choreographer was acting superior, when really we were all the exact same age, gender, and skill level.
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2 comments:
Lind$ay,
So sorry to hear about your closed minded choreographer. It definitely makes it harder to enjoy dancing and performing when you have people who do not want to listen to what you are saying. What is even worse is that your choreographer did not allow opinions of everyone else in your group as well. I hope you were able to eventually talk to him and straighten things out.
What I also feel makes matters worse is that the choreographer was one of your peers. I really find it discouraging when someone, sharing the same skill level as you, thinks they are better than you. Sometimes people just have to step off their podium.
Anyways, thanks for sharing your story!
Jossshhuaa
Hey Lind$say!
Great example on the choreographer scenario. That sucks to be apart of something that is so disorganized. That also shows how unprofessional the choreographer that was trying to push his opinions on everyone else was. That was very inappropriate. The Gibb's defensive- producing communication behaviors that the choreographer was using was very inappropriate as well. The choreographer should learn some things about communicating effectively especially in a job like that. I could understand why the dancers became upset with the choreographer. Also, it doesn’t make sense that the choreographer was trying to be superior when all of you guys were the same age, gender and skill level.
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