Counterfeit Emotional Language

Counterfeit emotional language is a concept this week that really interested me. This is defined as communication that appears to express one’s feelings but in reality does not describe how the person is feeling. The book used the example of someone shouting “Why can’t you leave me alone!” While it is clear that the person shouting this is feeling something, it is unclear as to if they’re angry at someone, frustrated with a situation, stressed over something, etc. Instead, the person needs to describe how they’re feeling, whether it be angry, frustrated, or stressed, and the reason for that feeling. Another type of counterfeit emotional language that I found applicable to my communication was the phrase “That’s just how I feel”. I find myself saying this a lot when asked why I’m upset or angry. After reading about counterfeit emotional language, I now know that it’s not an acceptable phrase. I use it because I really don’t know why I’m feeling upset or angry but I want to justify the feeling to the other person. Instead, I need to learn how to begin by acknowledging that I’m not sure why I’m feeling upset or angry. Then, I need to slow down so I can understand why I’m feeling the way I am and better communicate that reason.