Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Love and Commitment
In one of my first relationships, I experienced love without commitment. While I and the guy I was seeing both experienced love, only I wanted commitment. As a result, we didn’t last long, because I wanted more from him than he was willing to give at the time. Relationships that I can think of where there is commitment but not love might be one between a waning couple. Although I can’t think of a time I’ve been in a relationship like that, I can imagine it would come when a couple has been together for a long time and is therefore committed, but does not want to admit that the love they once had is now gone. In the first type of relationship, there could be a negative impact on the person who wanted commitment from the person who didn’t want to give it. However, if both people wanted love with no commitment, I think it could be a fun but not serious relationship. A relationship like the second might be a hard one to be in and have a negative impact on both people. While they have invested so much time and energy and are still so committed, it is hard to recognize that love might be gone and it’s even harder to walk away from the relationship. I don’t think either type of relationship is positive, and one should work on having a romantic relationship with equal parts commitment and love.
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4 comments:
Hi Lind$ay,
Thanks for sharing your experience. I have a friend in a similar situation. He has a girlfriend but she only comes around when it is convenient for her or she wants something. We call her Thursday because it is usually on Thursday when she comes over to the apartment complex and is half drunk. She usually just wants a bed buddy. We tell our friend he is a great boyfriend because he does a lot for her like buy her gifts, take her out whenever she wants (which is not often) and he is there for her. He have told him she is not good girlfriend material as she uses him but isn't supportive of him.
Thanks,
Katrina
Hi Lind$ay,
The kind of relationship where commitment is present but not love is horrible. We usually see it as a result of rising divorce rates today- the couple stays in the marriage for the kids but they do not love each other anymore. For me, I experienced it with my last girlfriend where we were best friends but lost the love. It is hard to realize it is over, but it's best to leave the relationship than to string it on.
Also, as you said, when you love somebody but they are unable to commit, it is hard. It is good to leave it before you get hurt even more.
Great post. Thanks for sharing!
-rompersb
Hey Lindsay,
When I first wrote my post I couldn't think of any relationship that had love came with commitment, but now after reading your post I realize there can be commitment without love. I think you gave a perfect example of a waning relationship where both of the people are still committed to each other, but the love is not there anymore. Like I said in my post, I believe a relationship is not a relationship without love and commitment, equal parts. Also, the two people should make sure that they are both on the same page with their feelings and whether or not they are committed, this is when peoples feelings get hurt if this is not discussed. Good post! You opened my eyes to other parts of commitment and love.
Hi, Lind$say:
I really enjoyed your post and how you put your own experiences as examples. I agree with you how its hard to have a relationship were one person is in love and committed to the other but the feeling is not mutual. Also I like how you imagined how a couple who was committed but not in love. I agree with you because that was how my parents were a couple of years ago they were committed for eighteen years but realized the spark was gone and nothing was left except for unhappiness. I thought you did a good job on this post it was easy to comprehend and relate to without getting repetitive.
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